some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves
at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks
to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married
O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six
children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins
Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married
Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married
Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep
her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous
disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt
and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married
the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper
announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal
son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new
Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct
Crock O. Schitt