A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well 
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?  It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have a carport, and not need one.
 
I mean, what are your relations like? All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up? No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger? Â No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce? She is going to kill me.

What makes you think that? I got proof.

What kind of proof? She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says: "Polish Remover"