typical guy's New Year's resolutions (some might even be yours):
I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less.
4. Watch more tv. I've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more.
6. Drink. Drink some more.
7. Take up a new habit: smoking.
8. Spend at least a month on hookers.
9. Spend more time at work.
10. Take a vacation to someplace important: like to see the largest ball of
11. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
12. Start being superstitious.
13. Have my car lowered and invest in a really loud stereo system. Get the windows
14. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.
15. Only wear jeans that are two sizes too small and use a chain or rope for