time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy: Rob is a commercial saturation
diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs. Below is an email he sent to his sister. She then sent it to
Laughline, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless
to say, she won.
another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had bad day at the
office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would
share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities
of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit
to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So
what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This ,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it
to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden
hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan,
and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to
the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of
my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in
was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course,
I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started
to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony
I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish
and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish
into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers,
were all laughing hysterically.Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed
to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before
I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived
at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out
of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed
me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days because
my butthole was swollen shut.
next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would
be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.