fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual
leadership". He received a million severance package. Perhaps it's
not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had
barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers
discovered that the man was standing beside them shouting, "please come
out and give yourself up."
Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to
drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded
to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
nine year old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one day suspension under
his elementary school's drug policy last week for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly
told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher".
student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate
a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance"
policy...not to be confused with the "zero-intelligence" policy.
investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a
,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention
alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught
homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system."