A
New Orleans lawyer sought a FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan
would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of
property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated
back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
After
sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply
(actual letter):
"Upon
review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note
that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment
the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application,
we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral
property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will
be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
The
lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
"Your
letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note
that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered
by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in
this country, particularly those working in the property area, would
not know that Louisiana was purchased by the US from France in 1803,
the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification
of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to US ownership
was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest
from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain by Right of Discovery
made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who
had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the
then Reigning monarch, Isabelle.
The
good queen, being a pious woman and careful about titles, almost as
much as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the
Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus'expedition.
Now
the Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the
Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore,
I believe it is safe to presume that He also made that part of the world
called Louisiana. He, therefore, would be the owner of origin. I hope
to heck you find His original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we
have our darn loan?"
They
received the loan.
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